


These Dreams

by blakefancier



Series: Young Lovers [57]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Medical Experimentation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 04:52:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6180904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakefancier/pseuds/blakefancier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve finally meets Johann Schmidt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> I'm supposed to be working on Blot Out the Sun. So of course I'm working on another Young Lover's verse fic.

Isaiah was already at the gravesite, sipping from a flask, when Steve turned up. It was colder than usual that morning and Steve sort of hoped that whatever Isaiah was drinking was alcoholic, just to warm him up. "Can I have some?"

"Sure." Isaiah passed it over. "It's just Coke, though." 

Steve sighed and took a sip. He tried to hand it back, but Isaiah waved it away, pulling another flask from his pocket. "To being good men?" he asked.

"Yeah, to being good men." Isaiah lifted his flask and took a drink; Steve copied the movement. "You gonna be around for this next year?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't heard anything from any of the colleges I applied to. What about you?"

"Got accepted to Boston, Tulane, and NYU," Isaiah said, offering Steve a little smile. "Faith and I talked about it, and we decided to stay in New York."

"Faith got into NYU, too." Steve's stomach did a couple of flip-flops when Isaiah nodded. What was taking his colleges so long? Why hadn't NYU notified him of his acceptance? What if he hadn't been accepted? What if UCLA—He took a deep breath and shook his head. "That's great."

"I'm sure you'll hear something soon from the colleges you applied to." Isaiah squeezed his shoulder. 

"Yeah, I'm sure I will." He smiled weakly. "And next year, I'll just have to make a special trip home. Just for this."

"Yeah." Isaiah tucked his hands into his pockets. "He'd be proud of us, wouldn't he?"

It was a question they'd both asked countless times and the answer never changed and Steve hoped it was true. "He'd be proud of us. He'd say we were good men." 

Isaiah hummed softly. "You want a ride home?"

"Nah, I'm okay. I'm gonna stick around awhile." Steve offered up a smile when Isaiah clasped his shoulder and told him goodbye. He didn’t speak once Isaiah had left; he didn't really have anything to say, he just enjoyed how quiet it was. Steve was about ready to leave when a man sidled up to him.

The man was tall, as tall as Steve, and had dark hair and eyes. "You come here every year," the man said in heavily accented English. "Every year on the anniversary of Erskine's death." 

Steve responded by stepping away from the man and giving him a wary look. "Who are you? A friend of Doctor Erskine's?"

The man smiled and it sent a shiver of fear down Steve's spine. "Ah, he never spoke of me. But I suppose he wouldn't. You were just a boy when he died; not ready for secrets."

"What secrets are those?" he asked, though he knew he shouldn't. 

"Did you think you were the first?" The man tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. "No, that honor was bestowed upon me. I was his most successful experiment."

"He didn't do so bad with me and Isaiah." Steve slipped his hand into his coat pocket and curled his fingers around his cell phone. 

"Your *friend*," he sneered, "is nothing like me. Or you. He's from inferior stock."

"There's nothing inferior about Isaiah." Steve lifted his chin in defiance. He wasn't about to let some racist bastard talk about his friend like that. 

The man made a dismissive gesture. "I am not interested in him. But you, Steven, you are so much more than you think you are, than SHIELD would have you believe."

"SHIELD? What's that?" Steve's heart was hammering in his chest and his mouth was so dry that it hurt to talk.

"They're using you. You're nothing but a weapon they can use. I know, because that is how they treated me: Fury, Carter… Stark." Steve let out a soft gasp and the man smirked. "Yes, even your boyfriend. They wanted what I could offer and that is all. People like them, they take and take and take." 

"Why should I listen to you?" Steve's voice shook slightly.

"Ask them about Operation Rebirth," he said. "Ask them what they do with all that blood they take from you."

Operation Rebirth; Steve remembered reading about that in the files they stole from Howard. His phone buzzed and he jumped in surprise. 

"That is probably Fury, wondering if you're all right." The man chuckled. "I knocked out the agent they had trailing you." Steve made a little sound of disbelief and the man shook his head. "Grow up. Stop acting like a silly little boy. Start asking questions." 

"They're my friends, I trust them," Steve said, glad that he managed to keep his voice mostly steady this time. 

"If you believe that, then you're a bigger fool than I thought." The man turned to go, then he paused, and looked over his shoulder. "Tell Fury that Johann Schmidt sends his regards."

Steve swallowed hard and watched Johann walk across the well-tended lawn and get into a car. Once he'd driven away, Steve answered the phone. "Nick?"

"Where the hell are you?" Nick asked, his voice harsh.

"I'm at Mount Lebanon Cemetery. I just—I just met a friend of yours: Johann Schmidt."

"Is he still there?" Nick asked quickly.

"No," Steve said softly. "He drove away." 

"Stay where you are. I'll be there in ten minutes. I mean it, Steve, do not move."

Before Steve could respond, Nick had hung up.

***** 

Despite Steve's insistence that he was fine, Nick made him stop at the infirmary. The doctor pronounced him unharmed, but they took three vials of blood. Steve's gut twisted uncomfortably as he wondered what they were going to do with it. 

After his check-up, he was ushered into a conference room where everyone—Sarah, the Bradleys, Ms. Carter, and Howard—were waiting for him. 

Sarah rushed over to him and took his face into her hands. "Are you okay, honey?" He nodded and she turned to Nick. "What's going on here? You said there was a problem. That Steve and Isaiah might be in trouble. You—"

"Mom, stop." Steve kissed her cheek, then stepped away from her. "I have my own questions. Why didn't you tell us that Doctor Erskine had experimented on other people before me and Isaiah? Why did you have SHIELD agents following us? Why does Johann Schmidt hate you all so much? Why have you been keeping secrets?"

Howard snorted. "Because that's what SHIELD does, Steve. It keeps secrets."

"Like you do?" Steve asked. 

"Schmidt is a liar and a murderer," Howard said, rising from his seat. "Do you know what HYDRA is, Steve? It's a hate organization hell bent on shaping the world into its very narrow image. It's been around forever; they helped the Nazis rise to power. Schmidt's parents were a part of the German contingent. When Schmidt was fifteen he took over as leader. He kidnapped Erskine, forced the good doctor to give him one of the initial versions of the serum he gave you and Isaiah." 

"And it worked?" Mrs. Bradley sounded confused. "But Erskine said—" 

Howard shook his head. "It did, just not properly. There were side effects. The serum caused… caused skin discoloration and facial deformity. "

"He looked fine to me," Steve said. 

Ms. Carter laughed bitterly. "He's good at hiding it. Steve, he killed Doctor Erskine. When the doctor wouldn't go back to Germany with him, wouldn't work for him, he killed Erskine."

Steve wasn't surprised, but it still hurt to think that Doctor Erskine was betrayed. 

"Then why not tell us he was out there?" Sarah asked. 

Nick sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Because up until an hour ago, we thought he was dead. Howard shot him, several times, and he fell off the Brooklyn Bridge into the river. We put agents on you, all of you, because I'd been hearing inklings that HYDRA was trying to re-form. Now we know who's behind it." 

"And you think you can protect us?" Mrs. Bradley asked. "He got to Steve today." 

"I admit it, we were blindsided. That won't happen again." Nick gave them all a very serious look. "I promise all of you that. Although, to be honest, Mr. and Mrs. Bradley, I don’t think Schmidt will be bothering Isaiah. For obvious reasons."

Steve could see their obvious relief and he was glad for them, less so for himself. Still, he one more question to fling at them. "What's Operation Rebirth?"

An uneasy sort of silence fell over the room and Steve caught Isaiah's gaze. That's when he realized, when they both realized, that everyone else knew exactly what that was and that it had been kept from them. Steve looked over the room and his eyes landed on Howard, who looked like he was about ready to bolt from the room. 

"Howard," Steve said softly.

"Schmidt told you to mention it, huh?" Howard let out a mirthless laugh and shook his head. 

"Yeah, but I was curious before then. It kept popping up in the files we stole from you when we hacked you and the DoD."

"Goddammit, Tony," Howard murmured and rubbed his mouth.

"Everyone in the room seems to know but me and Isaiah. Don't you think it's time we did?"

Howard looked over at Nick, who nodded wearily. "Erskine was one of the most brilliant minds I've ever come across, and that's saying something. The applications for his serum were numerous. We tried to recruit him, told him he could save lives. But the only lives he seemed interested in saving were in the pediatric ward. So we reached out to Schmidt and he was eager to help us. So eager, right up until he betrayed us."

"Why—"

Howard waved Steve into silence. "Let me finish this. Let me get through this. With Schmidt's blood we were able… we… I thought we had managed a close enough approximation of the serum. It tested well on lab rats, so we… I moved on to people. There were soldiers who volunteered for the experiment. By this time, Erskine and Schmidt were dead, well, I thought Schmidt was dead. The serum should have worked, but something went wrong. We… I did something wrong."

"What happened?" Isaiah asked softly, but Howard didn't reply, he just stared at his hands.

Steve realized that he already knew what had happened to those men and women. "They starved to death."

"Yes." Howard's whole body seemed to tense, as if he were waiting for a blow. "Their metabolic rates skyrocketed. We couldn't get it under control, we couldn't get enough nutrients into them. They just… I couldn't…" He shuddered, and then looked up at Steve. "That's not going to happen to you; Erskine's serum is stable. I've gone over your blood work a million times. Steve… Steve, I—"

"I know," Steve said, quickly moving to Howard's side, taking his hands and squeezing them. He realized now why Johann dangled that bit of information at him. "It's okay. I know you'd never let anything bad happen to me. I know you'd do everything to protect me. Schmidt was just trying to come between us. Between all of us." Steve looked around the room. "But we're not going to let him. I trust you. I trust all of you." 

"We'll find Schmidt, Steve. We'll find him and bring him in," Nick said. 

Steve felt relief flood through him and he smiled. Everything was going to be okay, they just had to stick together.

***** 

It was late, but the space next to him was empty and the sheets cold. Steve knew that Howard was still uneasy about the secrets that had been brought out into the open. He'd shied away from Steve's touch, from Steve's gaze. It was silly. 

Steve climbed out of bed and headed downstairs. He was sure Howard would be in the den, so he was stopped short when he stumbled across Howard in the living room. It was dark, with only the moonlight coming in from the window illuminating the room and Howard was sprawled out in his chair, glass in hand.

Steve sighed, walked over and sank to his knees between Howard's legs. "I woke up and you were gone."

"I couldn't sleep." Howard finished the alcohol in his glass and licked his lips. 

"Schmidt was trying to make me distrust you. He thought…" Steve leaned in, resting his head against Howard's chest. "I love you. There's nothing you could do that would make me stop loving you."

"Don’t say that," Howard said harshly.

"Why?" Steve lifted his head. "Why shouldn’t I?"

"Because it's not true and if it is…" Howard touched Steve's cheek, a look of grief on his face. "There are some things that should never be forgiven, Steve. Things that should make you turn around and run. Things that should make you fall out of love. There just are." 

"Maybe." Steve leaned into Howard's touch. "But you haven't done any of them. What happened to those people was horrible and I can see that you carry that pain with you and that you always will. You think you're a monster, but you're not. You're a good person. And that's why I love you." 

"I love you, too." Howard leaned down and kissed Steve gently on the mouth. 

"Come to bed." Steve rose to his feet and smiled. "It's late and it's cold and I have to be home early for church tomorrow."

Howard nodded and sniffled. "Yeah, okay." 

Steve knew that Howard would probably have nightmares for the foreseeable future, but now that he knew what they were about, he would be ready for them.


End file.
